Sunday, 21 February 2010

Sex Led


(that's greetings for those of us not Oxbridge educated).

I am a student at TVU, currently not wholly engaged in a form of education. It's fare to say I've been reading very little at uni, until I came across the Sex at Oxbridge blog and have since decided I'd very much like to apply for a researcher of sex role - as mentioned in the Oxbridge shagger's blog and I figured that the best thing to do was to start a blog about it.

After losing the ol' v-card along with my "bad mother fucker" wallet a few years ago I've been on the constant look out for the next alley oop, the next pot of the pink or to use the classic, the next notch on the bed post. Whilst Oxbridge Sex may be about the "close examination into the sociology and psychology of sex", I'm all about "the down and dirty". I make no apologies for it. If you really want to get into the psychology of sex then that's fine, whatever does it for you - I'll get my coat. Though if you wouldn't mind waiting until I'm out the window and running bare assed down the street before ya start rabbiting on then that would be great. Ta.

I have what can only be described as very aggressive NITSS (that's Need It Tonight Shagger Syndrome). I can't claim to have been professionally diagnosed but from a little research I gather about half the population has it so I'm not too concerned. You probably don't give a crap about the effect this syndrome has had on how my room looks or how I file stuff or my penchant for immaculate personal hygiene so I'll just crack on and discuss the sex. That's why we're all here right?

So I'm advertising this as a sex column. Well I should point out that unlike Sex at Oxbridge a.k.a the posh who doesn't nosh, this is a blog about the quest for sex rather than the lucky lasses ability to lie back and get it whenever she wants. From the fraction I took away from my economics class - yes that's right, TVU does have economics as part of some of it's courses - I think this is simply a question of supply and demand. You see, the reason the Oxbridge bird can get it so much is that there is a lack of supply in the market of girls up for it. By that I mean up for it like most guys are up for it i.e. like the sex on legs blogger is - no strings, lay back, enjoy and then say your pleasantries and get the hell outa there.

Sure when girls are drunk it seems like their up for no strings and if you get lucky then that's great and all but the logistics of getting a pissed girls home, out of her clothes and into doggy can be a real pain in the ass (if your reading Oxbridge sex then excuse the pun). But surely worth it I hear you cry and I agree don't get me wrong but when you bang a pissed girl you're always playing with fire because you could wake up in the morning and find that you've fucked a nut job and you do not want to be in that position trust me (a story I'll tell you about some time).

So what about sober girls? Well when their sober most girls want you to take them out a couple of times, pay for a meal and the taxi home, which I'm all for if we're talking Nandos with no starter and one drink each, and of course she puts out at the end of the night, but the issue comes not after the deeds been done - you know this isn't TV world here, you may even go for breakfast the next day - or lunch rather. Which is all fine, I've got no problem with that. The problem comes a couple of days after when she DMs you on facebook. Great! This is where the problem with soberish sex comes in - she always thinks that there's more to it, can't just leave it as a good time. We always have to be facebook friends and do the whole message thing or even worse, act lie we're going out - about as far from no strings as you can get. Now I'm not saying fbooking is all bad, the whole fbook friend can be good - a modern day little black book if you play it right but that usually works best with the drunken shag if you pick a goodun (again that's a whole other story I'll cover another time). Anyway, so that tends to be the problem with sober sex - you get clingers.

Where as girls who are up for no strings. Well their in short supply so we'll pretty much take anything. Sure it helps if they look like the type of girl you'd be fine for your mates to see but let's face it a few beers and a couple of shots and as long as she's female she'll do. So anyway that puts us at a disadvantage because we've got market constraints - unlike others - and that's why this blog is about not just the conquests but the everyday quest for sex for those of us not at Oxbridge.

Stay tuned to read about, well, one guys quest to shag girls - I'm not gonna dress it up as anything other than that - as I attempt to shag my way through term